I am still not yet done committing my experience of early last year to paper. I am trying to abide by my promise to simply post it all when it’s done. I remain a few days away from that goal. My new target is Wednesday. I am only scheduled to work a partial day, which should afford me the remaining time I need.
I spent quite a few sequestered hours this weekend writing, too many according to my wife. I was also able to fit in several hours today after work. I did sneak away for a walk at one point to clear my head and I couldn’t help but realize I felt deeply annoyed as I remembered that so many people seemed to expect me to share all this so differently. Quite a few comments on the Above Top Secret forums when I originally posted seemed to feel I was using a lot of words to say nothing of importance. And from all the questions I got from people about aliens I suppose by comparison nothing I say could measure up to the claims running rampant there and elsewhere. Perspective is such a funny thing, for me these details are so important, these conclusions so profound. Every detail in this story represents a huge moment for me, ultimately culminating in a grand paradigm shift. Small steps towards a giant leap in my understanding of the world, and the NASA I’d served officially and unofficially for years. To others maybe it will truly amount to nothing. My new alternate reality can’t hold a candle to their alternate reality. Still, my new reality is important to me, and that will have to be enough.
NOTE: This was originally posted April 5, 2010 10:37 PM. The post disappeared the next day. I did not remove it. On or about the same time my WordPress account stopped allowing me to post or edit items, every attempt resulted in a backend script error on WordPress. I contacted WordPress about both issues and they resolved the posting/editing problem this morning. They did did not recover or explain the lost post. I had the proof it had been successfully published, as I still had a tab open from several days ago of me viewing the published post. I will from now on externally save copies of my posts and be on the look out for this issue recurring.